The modern automobile is chock full of cool electronic devices with long names and convoluted acronyms. We have the ECU which uses the O2 sensor input to control the PWM of the EFI, ABS to help soccer moms run into fewer things in their minivans (sometimes), TCS so that cars with too much power can be driven in the rain (sort of)... and then there's DBW, COP, CPS, CAS, EGR, PCV, and a host of others. (get to the point, Loren)
After over 18 months of exhaustive Research and Development on race tracks across the country, I now present to you, the first functional prototype of the Electronic Driver Control Module (EDCM). It is the latest "must have" accessory for every amateur racer. (we presume that the pros already have this, just in a more sophisticated fashion, and at a cost of about 100,000 times more) In our research, we learned that there are instances when a driver might overestimate the level of grip available, or find a long straight where more power would be useful, or... every now and then... find themselves in a situation where their skill level was exceeded by their confidence. The EDCM was designed to help with all of these things!
The EDCM easily mounts within reach of the driver. Or, if your driver can't be trusted to make his own adjustments (many of them can't), you can position it in the cockpit out of the driver's reach. It can even be mounted on the OUTSIDE of the car, or stashed neatly under the hood. For best results with trusted drivers, we recommend placing it within the driver's reach and line of sight for quick and easy adjustment on-the-fly.
In our test application, the top two knobs are merely inputs. Our research team is still working on the controls for Variable Grip Tires (VGT), so for now, the Grip input is set based on observed or expected track conditions. For an early morning session, set the Grip knob low to avoid nasty driver-induced spins. As the tires warm up and grip improves, the grip knob should be adjusted to reflect the available grip. On some cars, the Power knob might actually do something. Sadly, on our test mule, it is completely non-functional. Our crack team of researchers is investigating this issue.
The lower two knobs are the critical adjustments provided by the EDCM. They allow driver Skill and Confidence ("Balls") to be adjusted to suit conditions. Our testing has revealed several conditions that can be extremely hazardous. These conditions generally involve the Balls setting being too high and/or the Skill level being too low.
It is highly recommended that Grip and Power levels constantly be monitored, as well as periodic observance of the Skill level. It has been noted that driver Skill can decrease exponentially with dehydration, sunburn, lack of rest, poor nutrition, improper hygeine, and being in close proximity to drivers of lesser skill. The skill knob may require adjustment to reflect these conditions. It is crucial that any reduction in skill always be accompanied by an equal reduction in Balls.
Recommened Settings
Grip: Always keep Grip in the green, especially if power is in the yellow or red, or if Balls is set in the yellow. If Grip declines to the yellow or red, Skill should be adjusted up if possible and Balls should be adjusted down along with Power.
Power: Power should be adjusted relative to Grip. It is believed that setting Power in the red can result in catastrophic engine failure, however, this function remains largely untested at this time.
Skill: Skill must always remain in the green. If Skill declines to the yellow, driver should exit the track immediately! Skill set in the yellow is adequate for street driving in most conditions, but if Skill must be set to red for any reason, it is highly suggested that a replacement driver be sought out.
Balls: Balls is by far the most sensitive adjustment. It must remain synchronized with skill and grip at all times. Minor adjustments to the Balls can have dramatic effects. Driving with Balls set in the red can be hazardous unless Skill and Grip are at maximum. Driving with Balls in the blue... well, now that's just sad, isn't it? The recommended setting for Balls is toward the high end of the green for most drivers. If the driver carries a fat wallet, yellow may appropriate if Skill is at or near maximum.
Warning: Embarrassment, dented bodywork, property damage, injury or death may result if at any time Balls exceed Skill!
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